Get the Relationship You Desire

You have the power to transform your love story from a place of frustration and discouragement into your happily ever after.

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Better Stories

The Key to Loving Better Is Learning to Tell Yourself Better Stories. Are you:

A princess in a ‘real life fairy tale’ but still can’t figure out why you’re so miserable;

Half a tub of chocolate ice cream into the world’s worst break up and never, ever, EVER going to date again!?;

The kind of girl who doesn’t make mistakes…but seems to make a career out of dating them!;

Binge-watching Greys’ Anatomy for the third time, because being single is better and safer than what is out there??

Here’s a little secret when it comes to romantic relationships, and regardless of our station in life or what material possessions we do or do not have – for all of us – when it comes to matters of the hearts, our reality is the product of stories we tell ourselves about our pasts and who we are (or think we are!).

It is possible to have it all and be miserable (although the idea of crying while on vacation in Hawaii with your hunky, attentive partner still seems pretty comforting!) or to have very little and be extremely happy.  Because our thoughts and emotions, our behaviours and actions and ultimately our realities are the product of the stories we tell ourselves.  So the key to loving better, whether ourselves or others, is learning to tell ourselves better stories!

Loving Better

In our experience, loving better has less to with our partners and almost everything to do with ourselves.  Of course any relationship between two people involves actions and reactions on both sides, but most of us are pretty reactive and are often the product of our past learning and experiences. That’s why many times we find ourselves in the same situations responding in very similar ways or dating the same types of people over and over.

But by breaking old patterns and learning to re-write the “stories” that we tell ourselves, we begin to see what is holding us back from being truly happy in our relationships.  What do we mean by stories?  In short, they are codified thoughts. And these stories or thoughts in turn create emotional, psychological and physical responses within our hearts, minds and bodies.

By focusing on what underlying beliefs, hopes, fears, needs and wants underpin our thoughts and behaviours, we can become aware of the stories we are telling ourselves and determine where these diverge from the ideal reality we seek.

Our Approach To Loving Better

At Heartstring we use a number of tools to equip people to love better by telling themselves better stories.  Our approach:

  • Starts from the inside and provides clarity on what they want and need;
  • Uses active story telling and shifts language from a “story” to a narrative approach;
  • Helps them see patterns and undercurrents through legacy romantic relationships.

Click here for a complimentary ‘Finally Get The Love Life You Deserve & Desire’ session

about-us

About Hilary Caters

I was inspired to create Heartstring in 2016 after taking a look at my life and realizing that I was not doing what I loved. I had experienced great success as an entrepreneur and marketing agency owner.  I was hiring new employees every month and securing wins over much larger firms. I was so honoured to have been named “Business Woman of the Year” by a local business group and to have received the “Entrepreneur of the Year Award” for my Region. Outside looking in, it looked like I had it all. I was driving explosive growth in my marketing business, was married with two beautiful children. Enjoying life with friends, family, going on vacation, not worrying about money. Life was great!

But while things seemed great from the outside, on the inside there was something missing and I wasn’t feeling fulfilled.  This was compounded by a series of external pressures that included: the unexpected rapid and successive deaths of my Father-in-Law and Mom (my truest and dearest friend); my daughter was born a month after my Mom passed away, the end of my marriage and subsequent dissolution of my marketing business, being in partnership with my former husband. It devastated me financially and emotionally. I was full of guilt, regret, anger, resentment and a lot of self loathing.

I continued to see myself as an adventurer and entrepreneur, now with blank slates both personally and professionally – and while not exactly what I had expected, were, if nothing else, exciting and new!  In my roles as; single mother to two amazing and very active kids, 40-something single woman back on the dating scene, ex-spouse, caregiver to my widowed and aging father and a “back to square one” entrepreneur; I experienced the good, bad and the ugly and began to learn a lot about myself by taking a good look inside.

I had some pretty interesting experiences during this time in my life; from the ups and downs of dating as a single Mom in my 40s; to dealing with my Dad’s health issues;  to legal action with former partners, to a near insolvency and financial stresses.  But I also had some very exciting and positive experiences like taking my kids to Disney World solo; to turning my finances around and finding financial success again; to working with film, tv and online stars in an innovative film business I launched and finally feeling happy in a relationship.

What I started to realize was that my happiness and performance in work, life and love was almost completely a product of the stories I told myself.  I found that when I paid attention to the “little voice” in my head and dug deeper into my thoughts about myself and the causes and effects of good and bad things, that my life up until now made a lot more sense. I learned through some heavy self evaluation, that I alone had created this life.

I discovered that the same principles of storytelling and narrative that I and my team used by day on major advertising and marketing campaigns were the tenets of much of the emerging self-help movement.

Over the next of couple years while reading more than 100 books on the subject, attending numerous seminars and courses, I began to refine my professional expertise in storytelling for personal use and began experimenting with early tools. What began as a personal approach that I was deploying informally to friends and family as a tool I describe as “professional girlfriending”, had soon become my life passion. Over the next year, I became a Certified Relationship Coach and began to “beta test” my product, and refine with more than 100 woman with great results!

 

 

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Contact

During Your ‘Finally Get The Love Life You Deserve & Desire’ session I will help you:

– Get crystal clear on your vision of what happily ever after looks like to you.

– Uncover challenges that may be blocking you from having the relationship of your dreams.

– Strategize actions to move your forward

My goal is that you leave the session with a clearer understanding of what you really want and how you can make it happen.

 

Email me today to book a 30-minute, private phone call: hilary@heartstringstory.com

free-book

Your Guide To Transforming Your Love Life

Are you feeling overwhelmed with the persistent negative patterns that are preventing you not only from enjoying the absolute confidence, strength and certainty in yourself and your love relationships, but also running every other area of your life as well?

Maybe you’re fed up with that feeling deep, deep down… A growing sense of uncertainty and subtle negativity engulfing your belief system and emotions when it comes to all things relationship – related…

Why is this happening and more importantly – how can you change it?

Allow me a moment to introduce myself.

I’m Hilary Caters. After struggling with my own frustrations and unhealthy patterns in relationships over and over again for years – I’ve decided that it’s time to uncover the things that are preventing me from enjoying a happy, healthy and beautiful love life that we all deserve and finally bring a permanent change.

My journey led me to years of contemplation, understanding and exploration that eventually led up to me having the opportunity to understand and develop an extremely powerful process that enables women to uncover hidden patterns that are preventing them from living the love life they deserve and turn it all around in the shortest time possible.

The years of research, studying of endless theories on relationships and my studying to become a Transformational Relationship Coach have resulted in the creation of “Transform your Love Life” – the wonderful book you now see in front of you.

My journey of understanding didn’t only assist me in discovering what was holding my relationships back – but has assisted me in developing a whole new, deep, honest understanding of myself that has assisted me in all other areas of my life as well.

I firmly believe that every woman deserves the love life worthy of the World’s most intense romance stories and I’m certain that you can get it – if only you take the right steps that will open your heart towards embracing it.

In accordance to my Life Mission reflected in my desire to help you live a less complicated, frustrating and happier love life – I hereby present you “Transform your Love Life – Be The Hero of Your Love Story”.

This powerful eBook is the fruit of years of most committed research and contemplation, and you can rest assured that it will literally do wonders at assisting you in:

  • Uncovering the hidden patterns that are sabotaging your love life
  • Common mistakes people make that ruin a romantic relationship
  • What you can do right now to eliminate your limiting beliefs and transform hidden patterns in order to attract the love life you deserve
  • How to find the power within yourself to overcome that nagging, self – critical villain within

If you are serious about truly transforming yourself, and simultaneously, transforming your love life and every other area of your life – getting your hands on “Transform your Love Life” may be the most important thing you’ve done this year.

And the best of all is – I’m so certain that you will see a powerful transformation right away that I’m ready to hand it over to you completely free of charge!

That’s right – all you have to do in order to make the first, most important steps towards transforming your love life and understanding yourself more deeply is input the your eMail in the form below:

We’ll deliver you the book immediately!

Not only that, but you’ll find that you can use the powerful information found within it to start uncovering the hidden patterns and transforming your love life right away!

Stop wasting your time with poor quality information that talks a great game but fails to deliver any results.

Get an efficient, powerful program developed from years of dedicated research with the goal of providing you with the quickest and most extraordinary results!

Making the most important step towards enjoying the romantic relationships that you have always wanted has never been easier and closer. All you have to do is input your eMail and download “Transform your Love Life” to start!

Don’t hesitate – every moment wasted is another moment spent in fear, doubt and negativity that is holding you back.

Break the pattern once and for all and start living the Love Life that you deserve.

I look forward to growing together with you.

All My Best,

Hilary Caters

 Click Here For More Information on the Full Love Playbook

  • Over Sixty Pages of Insights and Practical Advice To Finding & Using Your Hidden Super Powers
  • Ten Playbook Exercises To Ensure You Don’t Fall Back Into Old Patterns Based on Old Relationships
  • Playbook Exercises That Will Help You Uncover Some Poweful Insights Into Your Blocks To Finding Love
  • A Free Session With Me To Work With You to Customize What you Need Based on Your Personal Circumstances
Disclaimer: Results will vary, and you should not use this information as a substitute for help from a licensed professional.
love-playbook

Your Love Playbook

How To Transform Your Love Life & Have the Relationship You Deserve

Inside You’ll Find:

  • The Secret Hidden Patterns That Could Be Sabotaging Your Love Life
  • The Mistakes That Every Woman Makes When It Comes To Romantic Relationships
  • The One Thing You Can Do Today To Smash Hidden Patterns And Destroy Limiting Beliefs

*BONUS! For a limited only, I’m offering a 20-minute consultation (aka girl chat!). Sometimes we just need a sympathetic, non-judgemental ear with someone who’s been there, done that it and who completely understands! After years of intense study, practice and serious learning, including my own transformation on how to love better, it has become my life’s work and passion to help women who seek to be happier and have more self-worth regardless of their relationship status or circumstance. I look forward to hearing all about you!

Sign up to receive more tips and advice on having happier and healthier relationships with yourself and others!

The #1 Most Common Relationship Problem & Sweet Insights on How The Playbook Can Help

You know how the story goes…You’re living your life on your own terms, you’re free and independent, you’re feeling good about yourself, you’re doing whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want…but you still would love to find someone to share your life with.

You fall for a great guy and he is completely crazy about you. He calls you all the time, complements you all the time, gives you tonnes of attention and makes you feel very special.

Then one day, you start to notice that he’s not as romantic or as interested in you as he was in the early days of your relationship. You start to worry, “What did I do to push him away? Is there someone else more attractive or interesting to him? Why is he pulling away?”

You start missing and craving the attention you used to get. Your actions and the words you use with your partner start coming from a place of fear and insecurity instead of from a place of love and confidence. You become super needy. You complain and start obsessing over why your partner doesn’t sweep you off your feet anymore.

You become so obsessed with trying to get him to treat you how he used to, that you totally lose yourself and your self-worth. You don’t even recognize that confident person you were before you got into the relationship.

Before you know it or have any control over it, you push him away and the nagging, complaining, accusations, fighting and misunderstandings start…it can get messy and complicated.

Before you start beating yourself up it’s so important to know this:

You’re human! It’s completely normal and most of us behave exactly like this. You don’t have to be happy about it but you do have to accept how you are thinking and feeling and acknowledge it, forgive yourself and move past it!

At this point, it’s important to understand that you have a choice and there is a valuable lesson to be learned. You can accept what is happening and be happy in the fact that you have been given an opportunity to make a conscious, practical decision to ensure your happiness.

OR…you can keep repeating the same patterns/mistakes in your next relationship.

You can decide what you want…

You Have the Power To Choose

I created this workbook after experiencing my own frustrations and unhealthy patterns in relationships and thinking there had to be a better way. I created a process I’ve included in the workbook based on years of research and studying the endless theories on relationships. I also studied to become a Transformational Relationship Coach and have helped many women understand themselves better in order to develop the confidence and the freedom to give and receive love fully.

My mission is to make love feel less complicated, frustrating and out of our control.

We can choose to be happy!

My research led me to develop a process that takes women through their past relationships to uncover some hidden patterns that may be holding them back from having healthy relationships today. I purposely made the process fun, simple and nostalgic; like a trip down memory lane with the added bonus of discovering some valuable insights into who we chose as our partners and why we behave the way we do in our romantic relationships.

We’ve all experienced those knee-jerk reactions where we can’t stop ourselves from reacting badly (those annoying automatic reactions that we have no control over or have no idea where they came from!), and the negative sabotaging feelings we can’t help having…that cause us to behave in a way that isn’t productive for a healthy relationship…

We Can Fix Those Unhealthy Patterns!

The workbook allows you to uncover the hidden patterns developed in your past that are causing you to feel out of control and unable to enjoy a fulfilling and happy relationship.

I encourage you to take the journey into discovering the story of your past. Begin to understand that these stories are just a running narrative in your mind. They are just stories you’ve made up; tall tales we carry with us based on OUR INTERPRETATIONS of how we were treated in past relationships with parents, family members, friends and exes. We can have positive and negative experiences but it is the negative ones that we get caught up in and keep repeating. We create unhealthy relationship patterns and limiting beliefs based on the negative thought patterns we developed in the past. They are not true!

It is my sincere hope that the process in this workbook will shed some light on how we let go of these limiting beliefs in order to be happier in our relationships. We all deserve to enjoy love without fear, expectations, conditions or complications.

Here are some key insights from the workbook:

Key Insight #1: Change The Stories You’ve Been Telling Yourself

The stories you’ve been telling yourself about who you are can be empowering but can also be limiting. If the story of your life is not serving you, have the awareness to let it go. These stories are most likely not based in fact and have become limiting beliefs based on your interpretation of how you were treated in the past.

The process I take you through will help you understand that your story is not always accurate and it is very likely that you have made it up based on false interpretations about something someone said or how someone treated you. Everything we see, hear and experience is put through our filter. Our perception is just a perception, we can’t know what was going on in someone else’s mind when we interacted with them.

Our perceptions can often be wrong and past hurts that we carry with us today may not be true at all! My hope is that I can teach you how to let these go. We can get past these limiting beliefs. They don’t serve us because they don’t allow you to see who you truly are. They may be inhibiting your potential of having the love you deserve in your life.

Key Insight #2: Interpretations of the Past

Our past relationships, starting with our parents, have a huge influence over who we are today. It’s hard to understand or see this because these influences are sometimes hidden deep in our minds. Sometimes we don’t even realize we have had any influence or that our behaviour today stems from any past circumstances.

We learned early on how to act and what to say so that we would be accepted. It’s not all bad, but if you can start to bring into your awareness that you have developed beliefs based on how you have been treated in your past, it is much easier to get past them.

My workbook takes you through a process that allows you to understand where your influences came from and where you may have created some beliefs; whether they were limiting or empowering. The key is to forgive and let go of the beliefs that we don’t need anymore and are not serving us in our present lives and relationships.

If we can learn to let go of the PERCEIVED negative thought patterns we developed in our past and change our beliefs from limiting to empowering, we can move forward in a purposeful way and find the confidence and freedom to love without fear.

Key Insight #3: Don’t Take Everything So Personally

No one else can tell us who we truly are. Only you know and that alone is empowering enough to believe you can be free to love and confident to receive the love you deserve without judgement, insecurity or fear of being hurt.

No one can make you believe something about yourself that isn’t true. Don’t believe anything from anyone that isn’t coming from a place of kindness, compassion or love. Everything else is based on their own situations; their wounds and insecurities.

By understanding that how people treated isn’t always about us and that everyone has their own stuff to deal with, we can relax, put our shields up and not take everything so personally. Instead we can stay true to ourselves and have compassion for others.

The workbook allows us to see that sometimes, the negative stories we are telling ourselves are based on other people’s opinions so are not true. This understanding causes a great internal shift that allows us to live and love with confidence.

Key Insight #4: We Are a Whole Person Whether Single or in a Relationship

We often forget that we are whole and lovable with or without a relationship. We forget to honour ourselves as individuals and have a tendency to identify ourselves as a partner or half of a relationship. We are whole whether we are single or in a relationship.

We attract a romantic partner because of our independence and feelings of self-worth and self-love. But then what happens, is that we start to love and become addicted to the feeling of someone else loving us, of someone else making us feel good about ourselves, of someone else making us happy.

This is when we become dependent on someone else to make us happy. No one else can complete us! Despite what Jerry McGuire says!

Key Insight #5: Don’t Put Your Happiness in Someone Else’s Hands

No one else can make us happy. We can’t put our happiness in someone else’s hands. It is guaranteed that we will be let down every single time. The one constant in life is change. Our outer world is constantly changing and out of our control. Relationships change, the honeymoom phase doesn’t last, we start to see things in our partners that we didn’t see in the beginning. It happens in every relationship. And sometimes, we realize we chose the wrong person or we are betrayed or abandoned. It’s life and no one is immune.

The one thing that doesn’t change is who we truly are inside. Keeping this thought that you are and will be ok no matter what, allows you to be happy despite what life gives you. We don’t need to rely on any outside force for our feelings of self-worth. We can learn to accept all outcomes because we can learn to see that everything happens for a reason.

We all know the saying…one door closes…another one opens! Let that one sink in and embrace it fully. It’s an important factor in being truly happy.

If we don’t see this or rely on others to make us happy, we start to see our relationships as something we NEED to fulfill our lives an we become very fearful of losing that feeling of being loved by someone else. We start to see love as an outside force instead of a force that really stems from us.

The workbook shows you how to enjoy relationships without being desperate to keep them or terrified of losing them or being alone.

The best part about accepting this insight as truth, is that if you let go of the neediness, you’ll invite more loving relationships than you’ll know what to do with!

You are Powerful!

You can be happy in love. It is ok to think you deserve to be happy and deserve to be treated with kindness and love.

We all have the power within us to create the love story we want and deserve. The workbook gives you the space to rewrite your story the way you want.

Accept. Forgive. Let Go. These simple words, if fully believed and practiced, can set you free to give love fearlessly without expectations or conditions and to feel deserving of receiving the love you are entitled to.

Why Should You Believe Me?

It is my sincere hope that by sharing my story of the inner and outer transformations I’ve experienced that I can help others experience it too. I fell into a pretty low depressive state and if it wasn’t for learning and practicing these insights, I fear I would have never gotten out of that dark place. Because my shift was so transformational, I felt a great inner guidance to share this with the world in a practical and meaningful way. I want everyone understand that they can be happy in love because I’ve too often seen relationships spiraling down with no hope of healing.

The look on someone’s face when they experience the ‘ah ha’ moment based on the insights above is the greatest feeling in the world for me. I love seeing this shift and hearing how its applied to their love lives and how they see improvements and shifts in their relationships and more importantly in how they see shifts in themselves.

I learned a life changing lesson a few years ago. And I learned it the hard way! Now that I’ve understood the lesson, and can look back on it objectively, I completely understand why I had to experience it. I’m hoping my lessons learned can help others. I think it was worth going through the difficult nature of the process because I’ve come out the other side happier than ever. I wish I’d had some more insight and awareness that what I was going through was a lesson that I had to learn so that I could let the negative pattern go.

I want everyone to understand so that they can be aware that everything life throws at us is an opportunity for learning and growth. Be alert to what is happening and look for the lesson so you can get past it for good!

My ultimate goal through the workbook is to help as many people as possible to change their story and get past any limiting beliefs and go from a place of fear to love.

Going through this literally changed my purpose in life:

I’ve been a marketing entrepreneur for 23 years and owned my own business providing high-end branding, marketing and design services that have allowed me years of financial freedom and entrepreneurial success. Through my years of owing my own business, I met some incredibly intelligent, talented and successful people and built amazing friendships with people from every walk of life.

Everything was great…until it wasn’t!

I’m now 47 and am starting over. I was happy in my career but I wasn’t completely fulfilled. I was sleep walking through my life. I had to get to a pretty low point before I realized that I needed a change, that I wasn’t happy. The problem was that I kept telling myself “What do I have to complain about? My life is great!” So I kept living in denial becoming more and more depressed and not even realizing it.

Outside looking in, it seemed like I had it all. I had a great career, was healthy, had lots of friends, a loving family and the best kids (in my opinion 😉 ever!!

My love life has been interesting to say the least. I have been in many relationships but what I finally saw and what changed my life completely was that I, myself had created this life. I brought myself into ever situation. What I didn’t realize was that I had power to create the life I wanted. I didn’t have to coast through life just reacting and doing everything I  believed others thought I should.

So, I began my inner journey of taking responsibility for my own happiness and not relying on others for fulfillment and success and my sole purpose. Somewhere I forgot who I was and was doing everything in life and love how other people told me I should. What I discovered was that these limiting beliefs began in my childhood.

In that moment of self realization, I stopped blaming every one else for my discontent. This was key for me and I believe it can be life changing for everyone. I used to blame my parents for raising me to believe that women shouldn’t be leaders, that women should be quiet and not have opinions. This was my interpretation. It wasn’t based in fact, it was based in small things that happened to me that I interpreted to be that I shouldn’t have a voice.

With this new insight, I saw my relationship with my kids, friends, family and career begin change for the better, not because ‘they’ had but because I had experienced an inner shift. I developed the confidence to have a voice and start living the life I wanted, on my own terms. It’s incredibly freeing and the best part is that I no longer care what anyone thinks. I am guided by my own inner intelligence. I trust myself. No one can tell me what is best for me anymore.

Why This is Important in Love and Relationships

Now, having said that, and finding my power by letting go of some negative thought patterns around what others opinions controlled me, love and romance were a whole other issue! I have found that the most difficult inner work was always around my relationship. What I discovered was that I didn’t really like or love myself that much. I had lost faith in myself, I had developed some strong limiting beliefs of how valuable and worthy I was to others.

Based on my limiting beliefs from my past, I saw my value based on what others thought (or what I interpreted to be the truth of what they thought!). I put my happiness in the hands of other people’s opinions about me. I put my fulfillment in career goals, and money and ‘outside’ things I thought would fulfill me.

And of course, none of this did, in the end, make me completely happy or fulfilled. I forgot the most important thing and that was to love myself and trust myself so that I could be fulfilled in my career and relationships.

It’s taken me a few years of inner work, meditating, journaling, reading, attending workshops and seminars; but it became so clear that this was my purpose…to share my story with the intention of helping others see that the shift come from inside, not outside.

And because my challenge was always around romance, I focused on love relationships because I do believe that so much of our happiness stems from how we see ourselves as lovable individuals.

My hope with my coaching style and workbook is to help people create some confidence around their true power and purpose in love and relationships, to ease them into their natural state of loving freely and abundantly without fear.

The inspiration for the workbook came from taking a look inside, identifying some patterns from my past that were keeping me stuck from being my best self in all areas of my life in my present. It was inspiring and fun work and it made such a massive internal shift that created some great outer shifts that I was so guided to share this process with as many people as I could.

I did give up my ‘day job’ after I experienced so much authentic happiness in my life to do this work and have also seen incredible transformations in others!

Transform Your Love Life Today!

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Disclaimer: Results will vary, and you should not use this information as a substitute for help from a licensed professional.